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Recent Posts

• Confession

  By Simon Harvey on 14 July 2019 • ( 0 )

  I’ve done some TERRIBLE things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.

• Napkins

  By Simon Harvey on 12 July 2019 • ( 0 )

  Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. Just Putin it out there.

• Doppelgänger

  By Simon Harvey on 5 July 2019 • ( 0 )

  I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.  

• The Ashes: English Batsman

  By Simon Harvey on 5 July 2019 • ( 0 )

  Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.  

• Dalek Egg Timer

  By Simon Harvey on 5 July 2019 • ( 0 )

  I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”  

• Bird Watching

  By Simon Harvey on 14 June 2019

  Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.

• Hot in Australia

  By Simon Harvey on 10 April 2019

  You know its hot in Australia when… The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance Hot water comes out of both taps You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron The temperature drops… Read More ›

• Mind Power

  By Simon Harvey on 10 April 2019

  Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.

• Scottish Accent

  By Simon Harvey on 10 April 2019

  I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate Tony, “I’m stuck on one across: trapped on a desert island eight letters starting with M.” He said, “Marooned.” I said, “Thank you. Ill have a… Read More ›

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