Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.
Hot in Australia
You know its hot in Australia when… The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance Hot water comes out of both taps You
Mind Power
Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.
Scottish Accent
I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate Tony, “I’m stuck on one across: trapped on a desert island
ABBA Tribute Band
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Job Interview Tips
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade
Fifty Shades of Gravy
I’ve just written my first novel, “Fifty Shades of Gravy.” It’s very saucy.
Tinnitus Helpline
Tried calling the tinnitus helpline. No answer. Just kept ringing.
Army of Babies
What do you call an army of babies? An infantry!
Wig Theft
A truck load of wigs has just been stolen from Queens Plaza in Brisbane’s CBD. Queensland Police are combing the area.