Author Archives
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Electrician’s Clothing
An electrician’s favourite article of clothing would be their shorts.
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Doppelgänger
I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.
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The Ashes: English Batsman
Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
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Dalek Egg Timer
I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”
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Bird Watching
Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.
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Hot in Australia
You know its hot in Australia when… The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance Hot water comes out of both taps You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron The temperature drops… Read More ›
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Mind Power
Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.
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Scottish Accent
I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate Tony, “I’m stuck on one across: trapped on a desert island eight letters starting with M.” He said, “Marooned.” I said, “Thank you. Ill have a… Read More ›
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ABBA Tribute Band
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
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Job Interview Tips
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade Um bum ba de Um bububum da de PRESSURE pushing down on me