Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That’s my modus operandi.
Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. Just Putin it out there.
I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.
Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”
Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade Um bum ba de Um bububum da de PRESSURE pushing down on me
I’ve just written my first novel, “Fifty Shades of Gravy.” It’s very saucy.