Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.
I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate Tony, “I’m stuck on one across: trapped on a desert island
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade
I’ve just written my first novel, “Fifty Shades of Gravy.” It’s very saucy.
Tried calling the tinnitus helpline. No answer. Just kept ringing.
What do you call an army of babies? An infantry!
A truck load of wigs has just been stolen from Queens Plaza in Brisbane’s CBD. Queensland Police are combing the area.
If you don’t use your fireworks by the “best before” date, do they go off?
Why shouldn’t you date bankers? While they give you added interest, most of them are tellers.