A genuine joke from Queensland

It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly Queenslander:

At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery
(Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.

When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, “I’ll have a Tooheys New..”

To which the boss of Coopers rejoined, “I’ll have a Coopers, the King of Beers.”

And the bloke from Cascade asked for “a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet.”

The General Manager of Carlton & United paused a moment and then placed his order: “VB.”

The head of XXXX smiled and said “I’ll have a Diet Coke.”

The others looked at him has if he had sprouted a new head.

“Well,” he said with a shrug, “if you poofters aren’t drinking beer, then neither will I.”

Comment: Emergency Supplies for Flood-Hit NSW

Few Australians will not be aware of the devastating storms that battered New South Wales last week, unfortunately claiming a number of lives and millions of dollars in damage as the Hunter River burst its banks and flooded many towns in the NSW Central Coast. Indeed, the storms have been reported widely across the world, and have been the worst to hit the region for over 30 years.

Now, in the latest of my series of Why I Love Australia, I’d also like to comment upon the fact that for the two major Eastern States (Queensland and New South Wales), there is an annual rugby tournament which is fiercly contested, called State of Origin.

Although by rights I should gloat about Queensland’s glorious victory over NSW last night, ending a the “hoodoo curse” of QLD never beating NSW at the Telstra Stadium in Sydney; I won’t out of respect for the NSW supporters who are extremely annoyed at losing the series for the second year running. (heehee).

However, what I would like to point out is the predicament that those affected by the NSW Storms/Floods were in. With the local watering holes flooded out, how could the local community support the Blues in the match? Well, thanks to the State Emergency Service,  the day was saved by emergency rations of beer being delivered by boat and helicopter, just in time for the match.

This is a great example of Australian mateship. No matter how difficult the situation, no matter how hard times we fall upon, I love the fact that you’re always there to help a fellow Aussie in dire times of need (for example, when a disaster occurs, in times of need, or most importantly, when the hotel runs out of beer). So thanks to the SES, the beer was in the pub in time for Origin II.

Doesn’t it make you proud.

Unfortunately, the way the BBC reported the same story simply makes us sound like a nation of alcoholics. Bloody poms.

Gloves! Gloves! Utility Gloves!

Now normally I wouldn’t get so excited about gloves, particularly given that I did (albeit grudgingly) grow up in a cold and wet part of the world, but I have recently seen the freehand, a nice little glove with an inbuilt pocket on the back. Nice and useful for holding iPods, Nanos, keys, etc. whist doing something really silly like running or exercise.

Of course, not to be outdone, the Australians have come up with an even more useful use for a glove. It’s the StubbyGlove! Now this is genius. It keeps the beer cold, always at arm’s reach and after a few you don’t need to even remember to hold onto the beer anymore. Hows about that, ey?

Generating Electricity, Water from Brewery Waste

Finally, for those of you working in the Sunshine State, can also spend Monday’s Labor Day holiday marvelling at the potential life-changing discovery at the University of Queensland.

The propellerheads there have found a way of charging a battery cell using the waste water from the beer brewing process, with the waste being renewable CO2 and pure water.

This is, IMHO, pure genius; as here in Queensland we are suffering from a severe water shortage as well as Read more