I met a girl at a party and she said, “Come outside and I’ll show you a good time.”So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 9.79 seconds.
Dad Jokes
Electrician’s Clothing
An electrician’s favourite article of clothing would be their shorts.
This Supermarket Joke
This Supermarket joke.Its an Aldi but a goodie.
What’s Brown and lies beside the piano?
What’s brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven’s last movement.
Latin
Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That’s my modus operandi.
Confession
I’ve done some TERRIBLE things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.
Napkins
Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. Just Putin it out there.
Doppelgänger
I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.
The Ashes: English Batsman
Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
Dalek Egg Timer
I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”