I met a girl at a party and she said, “Come outside and I’ll show you a good time.”So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 9.79 seconds.
An electrician’s favourite article of clothing would be their shorts.
This Supermarket joke.Its an Aldi but a goodie.
What’s brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven’s last movement.
Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That’s my modus operandi.
I’ve done some TERRIBLE things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.
Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. Just Putin it out there.
I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.
Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”