Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That’s my modus operandi.
I’ve done some TERRIBLE things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.
Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. Just Putin it out there.
I thought I saw my doppelgänger but he just looked like one.
Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”
Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.
Have I told you about the time I tied my shoe laces with only the power of my mind? Thought knot.