Australian Citizenship Test II

and another one that I got sent, to follow on from yesterday

Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship

You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship

  1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
  2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
  3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
    • At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
    • A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
    • Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
  4. How many beers in a slab?
  5. You call that a knife, this is a knife. True or False?
  6. Does yeah-nah mean:
    • “Yes and no”
    • “Maybe”
    • “Yes I understand but No I don’t agree”?
  7. The phrases “strewth” and “flamin’ dingo” can be attributed to which TV character?
    • Toadie from Neighbours
    • Alf from Home & Away
    • Agro from Agro’s Cartoon Connection
    • Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
  8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
    • Once or twice
    • As often as necessary to cook
    • After each stubby
    • Until charcoal?
  1. Name three of the Daddo brothers.
  2. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
  3. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
    • Drinking beer at a mate’s place
    • Drinking beer at the beach
    • Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
    • Drinking beer at a mate’s place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
  4. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
  5. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
  6. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
  7. Who are Scott and Charlene?
  8. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
    • Squirt and spread with finger
    • Sauce injection straight into the middle?
  9. If the police raided your home would you:
    • Allow them to rummage through your personal items
    • Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
    • Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
  10. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
  11. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
  12. Thongs are:
  13. Skimpy underwear
  14. Casual footwear
  15. They’re called jandals, bro?
  16. On which Ashes tour did Warnie’s hair look the best?
    • 1993
    • 1997
    • 2001
    • 2005
  17. What someone is more likely to die of:
    • Red Back Spider
    • Great White Shark
    • Victorian Police Officer
    • King Brown Snake
    • Your missus after a big night
    • Dropbear?
  18. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
  19. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel’s Khe Sanh?
  20. Explain both the “follow-on” and “LBW” rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter….
  21. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
  22. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
    • Ricky Ponting
    • Don Bradman
    • John Howard
    • Makybe Diva?
  23. Is it best to chuck a sickie on:
    • When the cricket’s on
    • When the cricket’s on
    • When the cricket’s on?
  24. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
  25. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
  26. What are Budgie smugglers?
  27. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?
  28. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
  29. A “Hoppoate” is:
      • A breed of kangaroo
    • A kind of Australian “wedgie”?
    • A disgraced Rugby League player?
    • What does having a ‘chunder’ mean?
    • When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
    • What does the terminology ‘True Blue’ mean?

    For Office Use Only[] In[] Out[] Can Have Another Crack at it

    Australian Citizenship Test I

    Now that Australia has introduced a Citizenship Exam (presumably to stop freaks that refuse to adopt the local culture and way of life like this fuckwit) , there has been widespread public concern about what is being tested, especially as most Aussies have no bloody idea what most of the answers would be. More information can be found in the Government’s Official Guide, but prospective Australians should also be prepared for questions such as the following:

    1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term died in the arse?
    2. What is a bloody little beauty?
    3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
    4. Explain the following passage: In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.
    5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
    6. Complete the following sentences:
      1. If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother ____ ?
      2. You’re going home in the back of a ____ ?
      3. Fair crack of the ____ ?
    7. I’ve had a gutful and I can’t be fagged. Discuss
    8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
    9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard ‘up on blocks’? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
    10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
    11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
    12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
    13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
    14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else’s beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
    15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people’s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
    16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter ‘b’ is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
    17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
    18. Is it possible to ‘prang a car’ while doing ‘circle work’?
    19. Who would you like to crack on to?
    20. Who is the most Australian:
      1. Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson
      2. John ‘True Blue’ Williamson
      3. Kylie Minogue, or
      4. Warnie?
    21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
    22. What does sinkin piss at a mates joint and getten para mean?