Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.
Wordplay
Water Bed
Can you make a water bed more bouncy by using spring water?
Employee of the Month
Not saying that my local Coles is bad or anything, but I used the self service checkout today and was nominated employee of the month.
English Weather
Why is England the wettest country? Because the Queen has reigned there for years.
Dream Job
I’ve been commissioned to study the images ideas emotions and sensations that occur involuntarily during sleep. It’s my dream job.
Hot Chocolate Picnic
I went to a picnic with the pop group Hot Chocolate. It started with a quiche.
Call me later?
I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
Pineapple Jokes
You can makes jokes about pineapples. They can take it because they have a thick skin.
Supermarket SNAFU
Had a bad mixup at Coles today. When the cashier said strip down facing me, apparently she was referring to my credit card.
Bermuda Triangle
At the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle is a wreck tangle.