A burglar is terrorising residents of Brisbane whom witnesses have described as being “completely hairless”. Queensland Police have issued a statement confirming that they are are looking for a smooth criminal.
Wordplay
How do politicians sleep?
How do politicians sleep? First they lie on one side then they lie on the other.
Natural Petrol
My car runs on ferrets but I’ve accidentally filled it with weasel.
RACQ’s Itemised Bill
I rang RACQ and asked for an itemised bill. They said, “We don’t do breakdowns.”
Don’t you push too hard
Batman hit me with a teacup. He said, “T’Pau!” I said, “Don’t you mean Kappow?” He said, “No, I’ve got china in my hand.”
Ross
Why did Ross Geller from Friends drown? He wasn’t a good Schwimmer.
Audiobook
I’ve lost another audiobook. I’ll never hear the end of it.
Falconry Displays
What idiot called them falconry displays and not hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park?
Denial
One in four people live in denial. Not me though, I live in destraya.
Swimming with dolphins
If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, try swimming with sharks. Cost me an arm and a leg.