I see Prince Philip has had a new Range Roller delivered.
What do you call an Australian cricketer with 100 runs to his name? A bowler!
Bought my wife a high powered fan for her birthday. She was blown away.
ScoMo has been hit with a rotten egg. The AFP have been scrambled, whilst the Australian people are said to be eggstatic.
Whilst most puns make me feel numb, mathematics puns make me feel number.
The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.
Where do Victorian Lobsters catch their trains from? Southern Crustacean!
Confucius say: “Man who fart in church sit in own pew”.
My neighbours kept banging on my wall while I’m trying to listen to music. “A little respect please!”, they shouted. I replied, “I’m not a big Erasure fan … but ok, this one’s for you!”
Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.