ScoMo has been hit with a rotten egg. The AFP have been scrambled, whilst the Australian people are said to be eggstatic.
Dad Jokes
Maths
Whilst most puns make me feel numb, mathematics puns make me feel number.
Telstra Time
The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.
Victorian Lobsters
Where do Victorian Lobsters catch their trains from? Southern Crustacean!
Confucius on church
Confucius say: “Man who fart in church sit in own pew”.
A Little Respect
My neighbours kept banging on my wall while I’m trying to listen to music. “A little respect please!”, they shouted. I replied, “I’m not a big Erasure fan … but ok, this one’s for you!”
Donald Trump’s Whoppers
Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.
Water Bed
Can you make a water bed more bouncy by using spring water?
Employee of the Month
Not saying that my local Coles is bad or anything, but I used the self service checkout today and was nominated employee of the month.
English Weather
Why is England the wettest country? Because the Queen has reigned there for years.