Dad Jokes

Poor Dick

A penis has a sad life. His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour’s an arsehole, his best friend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Is it just me, or are circles pointless?

Australians are much better at handling changing Prime Ministers than changing shopping bags.

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

ASIO, GCHQ and NSA: We listen to our customers…

As hundreds of Australian strawberries are found to contain needles, detectives vow to find out who-punnet.

Apple have said that although their profits are down, their turnover is still good.

Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol? Gerri can.

A friend of mine was rushed to hospital with a golf ball in his ear. It was wedged in a fairway.