Did you hear that the English batsman couldn’t understand how he got out? He was stumped. Then he tried to bail.
What do you call an Australian cricketer with 100 runs to his name? A bowler!
ScoMo has been hit with a rotten egg. The AFP have been scrambled, whilst the Australian people are said to be eggstatic.
The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.
Where do Victorian Lobsters catch their trains from? Southern Crustacean!
Not saying that my local Coles is bad or anything, but I used the self service checkout today and was nominated employee of the month.
Had a bad mixup at Coles today. When the cashier said strip down facing me, apparently she was referring to my credit card.
I rang RACQ and asked for an itemised bill. They said, “We don’t do breakdowns.”
One in four people live in denial. Not me though, I live in destraya.