Hot in Australia

Australia, Dad Jokes, Humour

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You know its hot in Australia when…

  1. The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance
  2. Hot water comes out of both taps
  3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron
  4. The temperature drops below 32c and you feel chilly
  5. You discover that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car
  6. You discover you can get sunburnt through your windscreen
  7. You develop a fear of metal door handles
  8. You break a sweat the instance you step outside at 7am.
  9. Your biggest bicycle accident fear is “What if i get knocked out and end up lying on the road and getting cooked”.
  10. You realise asphalt has a liquid state.
  11. Farmers are feeding their chooks crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs.
  12. The trees are whistling for dogs.
  13. While walking back barefoot to your car from any event you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
  14. You catch a cold from having the aircon on full blast all night long.
  15. You learn that Westfields aren’t just Shopping Centres; they are temples to worship Air-Conditioning.
  16. Sticking your head in the freezer and taking deep breaths is considered normal.
  17. A cup full of ice is considered a great snack.
  18. A blackout is life threatening because your aircon and your fans no longer work.
  19. No one cares if you walk around with no shoes on. Or any clothes for that matter.
  20. You keep anything in the fridge including potatoes bread and clothing.
  21. People have enough left over beer cans to make a boat and compete in a regatta.
  22. The effort of towelling yourself off after a shower means you need another shower right away.
  23. You will wait patiently until the day it starts raining to go on a run.
  24. You worry your ceiling fan is spinning so fast it will fly off and kill you.
  25. You laugh because this list is so accurate and wonder why it isn’t in the Citizenship Exam yet.