You know its hot in Australia when…
- The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance
- Hot water comes out of both taps
- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron
- The temperature drops below 32c and you feel chilly
- You discover that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car
- You discover you can get sunburnt through your windscreen
- You develop a fear of metal door handles
- You break a sweat the instance you step outside at 7am.
- Your biggest bicycle accident fear is “What if i get knocked out and end up lying on the road and getting cooked”.
- You realise asphalt has a liquid state.
- Farmers are feeding their chooks crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs.
- The trees are whistling for dogs.
- While walking back barefoot to your car from any event you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
- You catch a cold from having the aircon on full blast all night long.
- You learn that Westfields aren’t just Shopping Centres; they are temples to worship Air-Conditioning.
- Sticking your head in the freezer and taking deep breaths is considered normal.
- A cup full of ice is considered a great snack.
- A blackout is life threatening because your aircon and your fans no longer work.
- No one cares if you walk around with no shoes on. Or any clothes for that matter.
- You keep anything in the fridge including potatoes bread and clothing.
- People have enough left over beer cans to make a boat and compete in a regatta.
- The effort of towelling yourself off after a shower means you need another shower right away.
- You will wait patiently until the day it starts raining to go on a run.
- You worry your ceiling fan is spinning so fast it will fly off and kill you.
- You laugh because this list is so accurate and wonder why it isn’t in the Citizenship Exam yet.