What’s brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven’s last movement.
Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade Um bum ba de Um bububum da de PRESSURE pushing down on me
My neighbours kept banging on my wall while I’m trying to listen to music. “A little respect please!”, they shouted. I replied, “I’m not a big Erasure fan … but ok, this one’s for you!”
I went to a picnic with the pop group Hot Chocolate. It started with a quiche.
A burglar is terrorising residents of Brisbane whom witnesses have described as being “completely hairless”. Queensland Police have issued a statement confirming that they are are looking for a smooth criminal.
Batman hit me with a teacup. He said, “T’Pau!” I said, “Don’t you mean Kappow?” He said, “No, I’ve got china in my hand.”
What idiot called them falconry displays and not hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park?
What is it when Suggs walks up your garden path? The first sign of Madness!