It’s called “Duvet Know It’s Christmas.” It’s a cover.
Music
What’s Brown and lies beside the piano?
What’s brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven’s last movement.
Bird Watching
Just spotted Sinead O’Connor bird-watching. I asked how she was getting on. She said, “so far it’s been 7 owls and 15 jays”.
ABBA Tribute Band
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Job Interview Tips
Interviewer: What would you consider one of your strengths? Me: I perform under pressure Interviewer: Can you give me an example? Me: *deep breath* Mmbabade Um bum ba de Um bububum da de PRESSURE pushing down on me
A Little Respect
My neighbours kept banging on my wall while I’m trying to listen to music. “A little respect please!”, they shouted. I replied, “I’m not a big Erasure fan … but ok, this one’s for you!”
Hot Chocolate Picnic
I went to a picnic with the pop group Hot Chocolate. It started with a quiche.
Hairless burglar
A burglar is terrorising residents of Brisbane whom witnesses have described as being “completely hairless”. Queensland Police have issued a statement confirming that they are are looking for a smooth criminal.
Don’t you push too hard
Batman hit me with a teacup. He said, “T’Pau!” I said, “Don’t you mean Kappow?” He said, “No, I’ve got china in my hand.”
Falconry Displays
What idiot called them falconry displays and not hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park?