The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.
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Telstra Time
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Scrabble Pieces
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces. My next crap could spell disaster.
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Present for my wife
I bought my wife a mood ring and when she’s in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she’s in a bad mood it leaves a big red spot in the middle of …
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Dentist without anaesthetic
It’s bad enough that my dentist didn’t use enough anaesthetic but he also made it worse by speaking harshly to me. He hurt my fillings.
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What’s a Hard Drive?
Client: What’s a hard drive? Me: Brissie to Perth, in a Torana, during the summer, with the kids in the back, and no aircon.
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Good news for insomniacs!
Good news for insomniacs! Only 8 sleeps until Christmas!
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I’ve been hiding from exercise
I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the fitness protection program
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Since I’ve quit football…
Since I’ve quit football, I’ve lost my goal in life.
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If you ever feel like your job is meaningless…
If you ever feel like your job is meaningless… Just remember.. It’s someone’s job to fit indicators to Australians’ cars.
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Have you ever woken up, kissed the person beside you and been thankful you’re alive?
Have you ever woken up, kissed the person beside you and been thankful you’re alive? I have, and it’s apparently frowned upon on the train to work.