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mwak! mwak!

A repository for whats on my mind at any given time. Probably should be sealed in concrete and dumped in the ocean.

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  • Category: motivational

  • Telstra Time

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 27 December 201827 December 2018

    The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.

    australia, dad jokes, humour, motivational
    0 0 comments on “Telstra Time”
  • Scrabble Pieces

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 25 June 201825 June 2018

    I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces. My next crap could spell disaster.

    dad jokes, health, humour, motivational, wordplay
  • Present for my wife

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 30 April 201830 April 2018

    I bought my wife a mood ring and when she’s in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she’s in a bad mood it leaves a big red spot in the middle of …

    dad jokes, humour, motivational, wife, wordplay
  • Dentist without anaesthetic

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 22 March 201822 March 2018

    It’s bad enough that my dentist didn’t use enough anaesthetic but he also made it worse by speaking harshly to me. He hurt my fillings.

    dad jokes, health, humour, motivational, wordplay
  • What’s a Hard Drive?

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 29 January 2018

    Client:  What’s a hard drive? Me:  Brissie to Perth, in a Torana, during the summer, with the kids in the back, and no aircon.

    australia, comment, dad jokes, it, IT, motivational, wordplay
  • Good news for insomniacs!

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 26 November 201726 November 2017

    Good news for insomniacs! Only 8 sleeps until Christmas!  

    dad jokes, health, humour, motivational
  • I’ve been hiding from exercise

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 7 November 2017

      I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the fitness protection program  

    dad jokes, humour, motivational, wordplay
  • Since I’ve quit football…

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 25 October 201725 October 2017

    Since I’ve quit football, I’ve lost my goal in life.  

    dad jokes, humour, motivational, sport, wordplay
  • If you ever feel like your job is meaningless…

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 13 September 2017

    If you ever feel like your job is meaningless… Just remember.. It’s someone’s job to fit indicators to Australians’ cars.

    australia, dad jokes, motivational
  • Have you ever woken up, kissed the person beside you and been thankful you’re alive?

    Posted by Simon Harvey on 6 September 2017

    Have you ever woken up, kissed the person beside you and been thankful you’re alive? I have, and it’s apparently frowned upon on the train to work.

    dad jokes, motivational, wordplay