I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
I’ve just written my first novel, “Fifty Shades of Gravy.” It’s very saucy.
A ship goes into a bar and says, “I’ll have a large port please.”
ScoMo has been hit with a rotten egg. The AFP have been scrambled, whilst the Australian people are said to be eggstatic.
Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.
I went to a picnic with the pop group Hot Chocolate. It started with a quiche.
You can makes jokes about pineapples. They can take it because they have a thick skin.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line! (For reel!)