I’ve got a Dalek egg timer. After four minutes it screams “eggs terminate… eggs terminate…”
Food
ABBA Tribute Band
That ABBA tribute band was loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nandos.
Fifty Shades of Gravy
I’ve just written my first novel, “Fifty Shades of Gravy.†It’s very saucy.
Boatie Drinks
A ship goes into a bar and says, “I’ll have a large port please.”
ScoMo has been hit by a rotten egg.
ScoMo has been hit with a rotten egg. The AFP have been scrambled, whilst the Australian people are said to be eggstatic.
Donald Trump’s Whoppers
Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.
Hot Chocolate Picnic
I went to a picnic with the pop group Hot Chocolate. It started with a quiche.
Pineapple Jokes
You can makes jokes about pineapples. They can take it because they have a thick skin.
Fish communication
What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line! (For reel!)