The last time anyone told me I looked hot was in a sauna.
I put my donor card in the ATM by mistake.
It cost me an arm and a leg.
From all of us here at the Dermatology department.
I’ve just been arrested outside JBs for trying to steal 2 Samsung Galaxy tabs 3 Kindle fires and 4 iPads.
So much for my doctor saying “you’ll be fine as long as you keep on taking the tablets”.
Just been prescribed some anti-gloating cream.
Can’t wait to rub it in.
What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
I called my friend Andy Derrierre, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
A few days later in his office Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly trough Alice Springs.
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully but I didn’t really hear anything he said because my brain was shrieking ‘HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17000 FEET UP YOUR ARSE!’
I left Andy’s office with some written instructions and a prescription for a product called ‘PicoPrep’ which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss PicoPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of Australia’s enemies.
Good news for insomniacs!
Only 8 sleeps until Christmas!
We can tell a whole line of cheesy jokes but theres always at least one person who is laughtose intolerant.
Do you remember the doctor who poisoned the nurse with a scissors?
He gave her arse a nick!