The Telstra guy just stopped me in the street and asked me the time. I said “yeah mate it’s sometime between 7am and 6pm” and walked off.
Day: 27 December 2018
Where do Victorian Lobsters catch their trains from? Southern Crustacean!
Confucius say: “Man who fart in church sit in own pew”.
My neighbours kept banging on my wall while I’m trying to listen to music. “A little respect please!”, they shouted. I replied, “I’m not a big Erasure fan … but ok, this one’s for you!”
Donald Trump just went into Burger King and asked for two whoopers. The bloke serving said “You’re a very intelligent man and the best President we have ever had”.
Can you make a water bed more bouncy by using spring water?
Not saying that my local Coles is bad or anything, but I used the self service checkout today and was nominated employee of the month.
Why is England the wettest country? Because the Queen has reigned there for years.
I’ve been commissioned to study the images ideas emotions and sensations that occur involuntarily during sleep. It’s my dream job.