26 July 2018 – noot! noot!

Day: 26 July 2018

Escargot

[The Ark Day 1] NOAH: OK lions you’re in L CARGO bears you’re in B CARGO and snails you’re in S CARGO. SNAIL: Very funny, smart arse.

I was at Coles and a pyramid display of toilet paper fell over me. I’m ok. It was just soft tissue damage.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old daughter that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants … … but she’s still making fun of me.

An SEO expert walks into a bar. BARS, TAVERN, TAVERNS, LOUNGE, NIGHT CLUB, MINI BAR, PUB, BEER, GARDEN BEER, WINE, WHISKEY, COCKTAILS

Why was 6 scared? Because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9? Because you should have 3 squared meals a day.

The Sydney Symphony Orchestra is laying off all its English musicians tomorrow. So tonight is the Last Night of the Poms.

I just told my dentist a joke. It fluoride over his head.

I’ve got very sensitive teeth. They’ll probably be upset i’ve told you.

So a small pepper got stuck in a snowstorm. It was a little chilli.