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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he’ll have a little fun so he says to the Kiwi, “G’day mind if I talk to your dog?”

Villager: “The dog doesn’t talk you stupid Aussie.”
Ventriloquist: “Hello dog how’s it going mate?”
Dog: “Yeah doin’ all right.”
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)

Dog: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Yeah real good. He walks me twice a day feeds me great food
and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Kiwi: “Uh the horse doesn’t talk either….I think.”
Ventriloquist: “Hey horse how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool”
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: “Pretty good thanks for asking. He rides me regularly brushes me down often and
keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.”
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Kiwi: (in a panic) “Don’t believe a word he says, that sheep’s a bloody liar…”