BREAKING: Obama confirms wiretaps of Trump Tower were aborted after failure to gather any intelligence.
I hear its easy to convince the ladies not to eat Tide pods.
But its harder to deter gents.
An Aussie, a little bloke, was sitting at a bar in Sydney when this huge, burly American guy walks in.
As he passes the Aussie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says,”That’s a karate chop from Korea.”
Well, the Aussie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer. The burly Yank then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Aussie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor.
“That’s a judo chop from Japan”, he says. The Aussie decides he’s had enough and leaves.
A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly Yank sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and smacks him on the head, knocking him out.
The Aussie says to the bartender, “When he wakes up mate, tell him that was a crowbar from Bunnings.”
BRITAIN: “Brexit was the stupidest, most irresponsible, self-destructive action that an intelligent first-world country could ever have taken.”
AUSTRALIA: “wtf … did we just elect Pauline Hanson again?”
USA: “Here, hold my drink…”