Australian Bush Etiquette is recognized throughout the civilized world but we all need to be reminded from time to time. Â In this article we will cover the basics, eating out, entertaining, hygiene, cinema etiquette, and weddings.
IN GENERAL:
- Never take an open stubby to a job interview. (At least bring a chilled six pack so the interviewer can have one too.)
- Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
- It’s tacky to take an Esky to church. (Except in Queensland)
- Â If you have to vacuum the bed it’s time to change the sheets.
- Even if you’re certain you’re included in the will it’s rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
EATING OUT:
- When decanting wine from the box tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
- If drinking directly from the bottle hold it with only one hand.
ENTERTAINING AT HOME:
- A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..
- Don’t allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners.
PERSONAL HYGIENE:
- While ears need to be cleaned regularly this should be done in private using one’s OWN ute keys.
- Even if you live alone deodorant isn’t a waste of money.
- Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
- Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.
THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE:
- Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
- Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can’t hear you.
WEDDINGS:
- Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- For the groom at least rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
- Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
- When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can it’s impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
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