My car runs on ferrets but I’ve accidentally filled it with weasel.
So why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots-ate-them-all.
I rang RACQ and asked for an itemised bill. They said, “We don’t do breakdowns.”
Batman hit me with a teacup. He said, “T’Pau!” I said, “Don’t you mean Kappow?” He said, “No, I’ve got china in my hand.”
Why did Ross Geller from Friends drown? He wasn’t a good Schwimmer.
I’ve lost another audiobook. I’ll never hear the end of it.
What idiot called them falconry displays and not hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park?
One in four people live in denial. Not me though, I live in destraya.
If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, try swimming with sharks. Cost me an arm and a leg.
What is it when Suggs walks up your garden path? The first sign of Madness!