One evening a young woman came home from a date she was rather sad.
She told her mother “Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mum, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell.”
Her mother replied “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us we’ll show him just how wrong he is.”
What’s a bachelor?
Someone who never Mrs. anyone.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.
Health Insurer: Do you play any dangerous sports?
Me: Yes, sometimes I disagree with my wife.
I bought my wife a mood ring and when she’s in a good mood the ring turns blue.
But when she’s in a bad mood it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.
My wife refuses to go to Karaoke with me.
I have to duet alone.
What did the French trademark lawyer say to his wife?
Phoned the wife up earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on the way home from work but she just grunted.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
My wife keeps saying the same thing over and over again.
I hope it’s just a phrase she’s going through.
My wife told me I can be a complete arsehole sometimes.
So I chose Mondays and Wednesdays…