It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly Queenslander:
At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery
(Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.
When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, “I’ll have a Tooheys New..”
To which the boss of Coopers rejoined, “I’ll have a Coopers, the King of Beers.”
And the bloke from Cascade asked for “a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet.”
The General Manager of Carlton & United paused a moment and then placed his order: “VB.”
The head of XXXX smiled and said “I’ll have a Diet Coke.”
The others looked at him has if he had sprouted a new head.
“Well,” he said with a shrug, “if you poofters aren’t drinking beer, then neither will I.”
Most of you will know that I have recently moved away from my beloved Queensland out west, to work for a pommie-based banking group out of Western Austraia. Although I’m trying my best, i still don’t get or understand AFL, but am pleasently suprised that they play real rugby (i.e. Union) out here.
On the topic of rugby, albeit League, soon it will be time for State of Origin, where Queensland will most likely whip NSW yet again for the third year in a row. Of course, who can forget our glorious victories at Lang Park, as well as in Sydney, over the past two years.
Even more, for our cockroach friends south of the border, due to our elite sporting (and possibly drinking) prowess we still keep our initial takeover offer (mirror) open. But do hurry, the tide of Victorians still keeps moving North, and we do need your help to keep AFL away from the state (even though we got rid of the Kangaroos) – and don’t forget, they’re going for West Sydney too …
Further proof that “GayFL” isn’t a real sport – a pissed Aussie footy fan in Thailand asks for tattoo to celebrate the Geelong Cats gaining the 2007 AFL Premiership … and gets tattooed on his arm the classic words “RIGHT ARM. GAY PREMIERS 2007”. Yep. And his other one says “LEFT ARM”.
Arf! Arf! Arf!
I always wanted to find an fucking excuse for fucking swearing on my blog. And now thanks to digg I’ve fucking found one. There’s a great fucking article at TNR on Why We Curse, adding to the debate from a psycological and historical perspective. Fucking brilliant.
Here in Australia swearing is part of the national psyche, culture and language. Who can forget the Where The Bloody Hell Are You? tourism campaign (you can see the original uncensored advert online) that caused so much controversy across the world due to the use of the word Bloody (the word is standard language here and is not even a swear word)? It even got the advert banned in the UK, and the bloody Yanks tried to ban it, but in an act of pure bloody genius, Tourism Australia made the news headlines across the world with the advert and so got the advert played for free on all of the news channels, including the BBC.
Of course, Aussies thought this was hilarious and spoofed it themselves, as you can see here, on the Chasers’ War on the ABC, for the traditional Pom*-bashing when getting ready for the Ashes 2007 Series (btw … 5-0 … lol) and in a recent advert for Chicken Kiev where a young girl shows how she learned how to swear.
Of course we do have standards -its very rare you’ll hear the “c” word anywhere, but everywhere you go you will hear people refering to others as fuckwits or telling them to ga’an get facked mate.
* Pom is Australian for “English Person” and not a racist term, but part of the language. Much debate exists on its origin, but its commonly accepted to stand for “Prisoner of Her Majesty” or “Prisoner of Mass Origin”. But, to be honest, its more accurate just to say that its just an acronym for the full phrase Whinging Pommy Bastard.